a journal of my journey through fear, action, and life on a quest to find my purpose.

Just do it.

Just do it.

It’s been just over two weeks since I started writing here.  Two weeks without writing up to do lists.  Two weeks of doing things, many out of my comfort zone.  Two weeks of moving towards a place of hope and purpose.

It’s also been two weeks since I mixed ingredients and baked dog treats.  Yes – I have taken a break from accepting wholesale orders, but I still have four orders to fill – a total of 208 bags and 1,300 large individual bones.  That is a lot for me at once and yet, I have not started.  I have made notes on my calendar for “production” days but when that time comes, I choose to write, call my family, take Nessa on a walk, or hang out with some of my new friends.

Procrastinating these four orders, on the one hand, doesn’t make a whole lot of sense.  After all, I will not be able to focus on the plans for next steps in my business when I have these outstanding orders hanging over my head.  But this type of procrastination is familiar to me.  I’ve observed myself in these situations before – a ton to do and instead of just taking it task by task, I get overwhelmed, shut down, and just do nothing.  That means I sit with the feeling of not accomplishing something I set out to do on top of the anxiety of having a lot to do still and then not being able to think past that one thing that remains undone.

I guess I was hoping that it – I – would be different at this moment, after committing to write every day and to just do things.  But I’m struggling with this still, and it’s not going to necessarily go away unless I take action.  I know this.  I understand it.  But I need that kick in the butt to just get it done so I can move forward and figure out the next steps.  Maybe writing this all out will be the motivation I need – seeing the ridiculous truth of what I’m doing to myself.  I’m hoping so.

I think the only appropriate saying to end with is the ever-popular Nike slogan: Just do it.

About the photo: This was taken of me at Cannon Beach, OR, in February of last year.  I didn't jump that high, but the timing was perfect.  I particularly like it for this entry because it looks like I want to feel right now - free, like all the weight is lifted.  Everything that was pending is done and I can focus on what I really want to do in the moment.

Tiny pieces.

Tiny pieces.

Those three words.

Those three words.